Granny Nap

“You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.” George Burns

During this past year, I have spent an inordinate amount of time with the ‘Pensioner Brigade’. A selection of fine specimens, all of whom, are well past the age of consent and rapidly heading toward the age of drinking your lunch through a straw.

With so much activity this past week, I have noticed something odd . Some new habits that have crept in to my repetoire. It would seem, by pure osmosis, that many of the day-to-day rituals that come with advanced age, have now become part of me. How odd!

Feeling very Wonder Woman yesterday after finishing the painting of the kitchen all on my own, I took a few moment to evaluate just were I am at in life.

Here are a few of the items that came to mind:

The word “new-fangled” seems to pop into my head whenever I am near any form of technology. The scary bit is, it happened around the toaster last week.

Regular meal times have become as important as regular ‘toilet’ times. Let me fill in the details. As a child, I loved staying at my grandparent’s house. Life seemed good and simple, and you knew exactly where you stood. Shortly after breakfast, everyday, my grandmother would walk around the house asking everyone if they need to go to the toilet. “Are you sure?”, would be the reply if you said no. After she was certain that it was all clear, my Grandfather would head off to the bathroom for his daily ‘session’. I see him now, with his newspapers tucked under his arm, and his reading glasses on his head. He would still be wearing his wool tartan dressing gown and slippers. Once that door was closed and locked….forget about it….there was no way he was coming out until he was good and ready. Now those of you with children will know that there is nothing like the absence of a bathroom to promote the desire to pee. We knew there was absolutely no point hammering on the door, it was shut up tighter than Joan River’s face lift. One learns to improvise, and I am sure my grandmother never quite knew why her Hydrangea bush died…..

It just seems right to take a 2 hour nap after lunch. Even if you don’t need it.

You start telling other people to put on a jumper, or socks, or “something around their neck”, because you are feeling cold.

Meals seem to involve more food groups from the ‘puree’ family, and less from the ‘raw foods’ family.

Tutting about ‘the youth of today’, can take up a good part of the afternoon.

I could go on…and on…and on, but you get the idea. As I was standing in the new white kitchen, having a few moments of self-appreciation, I decided to start acting MY age…..which I will do, just as soon as I find my support stockings and woollen underwear.

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