Two Scary words.

School holidays.  School holidays…. I can say that and make it sound like I am swearing.  I can make it sound like I am about to commit some crime so grievous that the world will talk about me until the next time Lindsey Lohan falls over a cactus.

The way I see it, school holidays are great if you are in school.  I am pretty sure that every school teacher is happy to see the back end of those 30 odd kids, if only to be able to hear their own thoughts for two whole weeks.  Kids like school holidays, it is the ideal time to really see what their parents get up to when they are away at school.

Unfortunately, Miss Eight has had the misguided idea that the minute I close the door behind her, my life resembles HER wildest dreams.  Since the day she started school, I have heard nothing but scandal, mis-information and propaganda regarding my daytime activities.  I once overheard her telling her grandmother (that would be my mother Outlaw):

“When I am at school, Mama-Lulu goes back to bed.  Then she gets up, eats chocolate ice-cream and watches Hannah Montana on the TV.  Sometimes she turns on the vacuum cleaner.”

..see what I mean!  Mind you, on the grounds that I might incriminate myself, I shall remain silent.

This brings us to School Holiday activities.  Somewhere, in Miss Eight’s SpongeBob SquarePants addled brain, she is of the opinion that it is my role to ‘entertain’ her during this two week period.  Stuck on the door of the fridge is a list of places and activities that she believes come as part and parcel of the school holiday genre.  To me, it reads more like a list of torture activities dating back to the 14th century.

Today, she somehow managed to talk me into taking her to the local Aquarium.  I was not sold on the idea, and suggested to her that after spending the first 6 years of her life living in Sydney, with beach and ocean laid on, she might find it a little ‘rustic’. 

Boy was I right.  At one stage I found myself standing with a group looking into a large bucket of water filled with various old shells, half-dead starfish and other miscellaneous items found in rock pools (used condoms and plastic bags notwithstanding).  Even Miss Eight found this a bit lame.  And for this pleasure, I am 25 euro poorer.

It is only day two.  Now if I could just remember where I put the vacuum cleaner.

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12 responses to “Two Scary words.

  1. Hahaha, she’s as funny as you.

  2. Ugh, don’t remind me. It starts today in t-minus 6 hours. I have considered locking them in the basement with a box of crackers & not letting them out until it’s over! Nah . . .

  3. The simple answer is…have more kids!
    My four are so busy tormenting each other that they barely notice me. This leaves me plenty of time to sneak off to gorge on ice cream while watching Hannah Montana (which is the secret pastime of all moms, of course).

    • Bit scared of your solution.. another four would just about do me in!. I am one of 3 sisters – we spent our entire Summers making each others lives a living hell….. no Hannah Montana in those days.

  4. Send her on over… we’re keeping busy. 😀 Video games, art work… germs and fever.. um, maybe you do not want to get too close. My daughter has her birthday coming up during the break and you should see the lists and instructions I’ve been tasked with.

  5. here from sits! happy wednesday! i have an only child too and i homeschool him, so i can feel your pain!

    • Hiya, thanks for stopping by. I homeschooled for 6 months between overseas postings and thought I was going to go mad. Don’t know how you do it!

  6. Sometimes your posts frighten me; you are my crystal ball into my future 5 years from now.

    Berlin move still ongoing saga. I’m sick of writing about it. Now promised a 1st May move with RR which has effectively stopped my de-cluttering. I’ve been told they even pack your knickers for you – how lovely!

    • Ooohh don’t listen to me. I am sure your kidlets will be perfect little angels that get up, make you breakfast in bed and ask if they can learn algebra during the holidays. Oh and I also heard that hell is about to freeze over… be afraid… very afraid.

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